An Epic Workout

You probably clicked on this link thinking it was an actual fitness article with instructions on how to run a 5K or do one-armed pushups, so I am sorry to disappoint you. But then again, this is a book blog, so if you came here looking for fitness inspiration, then you came to the wrong place and it’s your own fault. 😉 This once, however, I am actually going to focus on exercise. You see, I am reading The Iliad in preparation for my first semester as a student in my college’s honors institute and finding that although it is epic (hahahaha…that was awful. Sorry.) it can be a bit tedious. How does this relate to exercise? Well the characters in this book do tend to be the beefy, shield-bearing warrior type and even the women are pretty swift on their feet, but that isn’t what I’m talking about. To cope with the restlessness I feel when reading The Iliad for extended periods of time, I have devised a workout game to not only help me stay in shape as I read, but to emphasize important aspects of the book. It won’t make you into a “Glorious Hektor” but it’s about as good as it gets for us book nerds. Here you go:

1. Whenever a title is used to describe a character (for example: “Brilliant Odysseus”): 5 jumping jacks

2. Whenever someone dies a particularly gruesome death: 5 sit-ups

3. Each time a sacrifice is made: 10 squats

4. Each time a god or goddess pretends to be a human: 30 second plank (This one is nice because you can read while planking.)

5. Whenever a motivational speech is made: 20 lunges

6. Every time a Homeric/epic simile is employed: 5 push-ups (wall push-ups count, despite what the athletes say)

7. Whenever someone or something is compared to a “blazing fire”: dance around for 30 seconds (I recommend making sure you are alone)

8. Each time someone’s armor is described: 20 crunches

9. Every time the noise of the Trojans is mentioned: 5 single-leg squats

10. Every time the ships of the Achaians are mentioned: 10 high-knees

I should mention that I didn’t actually do any of this…just thought about it. But that counts, right?

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