Poll: Best Part of Movies are Concessions

  PHOENIX, ARIZONA- Polling of consumers leaving a current blockbuster film reveal that the best part of the movies are, indeed, the concessions. "But we don't just mean popcorn and jumbo sodas!" said customer relations director Jack Hughs. "It turns out that the concessions made by viewers are what allow them to enjoy almost any…

Knox Knock: Protestant Parents Reform Halloween Door-to-Door Tradition

OCTOBER, 2017: SCOTTSDALE, AZ- As families of children and teens work together to plan their annual Halloween festivities, one family is changing up their traditions, or, rather, continuing those began 500 years ago. "We don't celebrateĀ Halloween," said Mrs. Geneva Knox, mother of four, as she welcomed reporters, sharing both her insights and her gluten-sugar-dairy-and-taste-free porridge…

Students Starve as College Cuts Pizza from Menu

Tens of students at a local college are suffering from varying degrees of starvation as the school dining service recently decided to cut pizza from its daily meal offerings.  "I just don't know what else to do," sobbed one student, his stomach growling in agreement. "I mean, what am I supposed to do? I've been…