Dear Mr. Dickens: An Open Letter

My dear Mr. Dickens, I hope you are well and not at all rolling over in your grave. (It is, after all, nearing Christmas and renditions of your famous holiday tale are promenading before audiences who are mostly wondering whether they actually turned off the oven or whether the turkey they pretend to like is…

Poll: Best Part of Movies are Concessions

  PHOENIX, ARIZONA- Polling of consumers leaving a current blockbuster film reveal that the best part of the movies are, indeed, the concessions. "But we don't just mean popcorn and jumbo sodas!" said customer relations director Jack Hughs. "It turns out that the concessions made by viewers are what allow them to enjoy almost any…

Writing: Expectations vs. Reality

Expectation: Showing off your stellar vocabulary. Reality: Spending ten minutes trying to remember how to spell "potpourri" because you're too proud to look it up. Expectation: Writing elegant rhymes to express your emotion. Reality: Sounding like an angsty Dr. Seuss. Expectation: Writing free verse poetry that seems authentic and avant garde. Reality: Sounding like an angsty and, now, drugged…

Non-Writing Writer

I was inspired this morning as I walked to practice piano for an upcoming recital... this would have been great, had I been inspired to practice. Rather, I was inspired to set the opening of Wordsworth’s The Prelude to music.  My roommate (bless her) stopped me just in time: “Ryanne, if you write a melody and…

Knox Knock: Protestant Parents Reform Halloween Door-to-Door Tradition

OCTOBER, 2017: SCOTTSDALE, AZ- As families of children and teens work together to plan their annual Halloween festivities, one family is changing up their traditions, or, rather, continuing those began 500 years ago. "We don't celebrate Halloween," said Mrs. Geneva Knox, mother of four, as she welcomed reporters, sharing both her insights and her gluten-sugar-dairy-and-taste-free porridge…

Unexpected Hero: Winnie-the-Pooh

The world is a mess. Whatever your political views, we can all agree that it's a rough world out there. However, while the news is increasingly depressing, I found an unlikely hero to cheer me for a few hours: Winnie-the-Pooh.  Somehow I grew up reading everything in reach yet missed this classic! So I decided,…

Misshelved: Winnie the Poe

Went to the children's classics section in search of some light reading...now I am just wondering how many poor young Winnie-the-Pooh fans have been traumatized by Poe instead...  Perhaps Eeyore likes Poe's stories. "Nevermore" seems like his type of vocabulary.  Still, "Welcome to your nightmares" is a daunting phrase to put on a book beside…

Late Night Writes

When night falls yet I cannot sleep, words crowd my brain. The following two poems, one serious and the other silly, are the products of last night's writing: "Hover" I lay still in my bed yet hover 'tween the sheets propelled by the heart  which wakefully beats.  A'whirl my mind spirals through darkening, deep space…