Medium Cappuccino with an Extra Shot of Awkward Please

My roommate once described me as "Stephen King trapped inside a Disney princess" and I think that sums up my personality nicely, though I would prefer to substitute Bradbury for King as I am not quite that dark... I am, however, a strange combination of intensity and flowery joy. I enjoy spending dark nights practicing…

Dear Mr. Dickens: An Open Letter

My dear Mr. Dickens, I hope you are well and not at all rolling over in your grave. (It is, after all, nearing Christmas and renditions of your famous holiday tale are promenading before audiences who are mostly wondering whether they actually turned off the oven or whether the turkey they pretend to like is…

Poll: Best Part of Movies are Concessions

  PHOENIX, ARIZONA- Polling of consumers leaving a current blockbuster film reveal that the best part of the movies are, indeed, the concessions. "But we don't just mean popcorn and jumbo sodas!" said customer relations director Jack Hughs. "It turns out that the concessions made by viewers are what allow them to enjoy almost any…

Writing: Expectations vs. Reality

Expectation: Showing off your stellar vocabulary. Reality: Spending ten minutes trying to remember how to spell "potpourri" because you're too proud to look it up. Expectation: Writing elegant rhymes to express your emotion. Reality: Sounding like an angsty Dr. Seuss. Expectation: Writing free verse poetry that seems authentic and avant garde. Reality: Sounding like an angsty and, now, drugged…

Non-Writing Writer

I was inspired this morning as I walked to practice piano for an upcoming recital... this would have been great, had I been inspired to practice. Rather, I was inspired to set the opening of Wordsworth’s The Prelude to music.  My roommate (bless her) stopped me just in time: “Ryanne, if you write a melody and…

Knox Knock: Protestant Parents Reform Halloween Door-to-Door Tradition

OCTOBER, 2017: SCOTTSDALE, AZ- As families of children and teens work together to plan their annual Halloween festivities, one family is changing up their traditions, or, rather, continuing those began 500 years ago. "We don't celebrate Halloween," said Mrs. Geneva Knox, mother of four, as she welcomed reporters, sharing both her insights and her gluten-sugar-dairy-and-taste-free porridge…